My Blocked Nose and I

I write this at a time when my sinuses are making a general nuisance of themselves after going and getting themselves inflamed.

When my genes were made they were carefully packed with a strain that runs rampant in my dad's side of the family - Sinusitis. My sinuses were invaded one day, several years ago, when I got a cold and have never since been free. As a result of this, my nose is eternally blocked.

While my genes were thoughtful enough to ensure I do not always sound nasal and have to carry around an inhaler like Chucky in Rugrats, or continuously breathe with my mouth open like Brainy in Hey Arnold, it's still an awful lot to put up with.

Chucky

Brainy

Since I am feeling particularly miffed with my Sinusitis, I have made a comprehensive list of all the hard times it has given me. It is also quite important to make as many meaningless lists in one's lifetime as possible, so I am wasting no time in writing as many as possible. I may be kinder and not inflict the others on you, dear reader.

Ahem.

What it is Like to Live with a Chronically Blocked Nose - A List that Tries Very Hard Not to Serve Any Purpose in Particular

1.  (and this is the worst!) I can't always taste what I eat. I have found, however, that by tilting one's head to a side(for theatrical effect) and inhaling deeply and loudly, I can sometimes taste one or two ingredients of the food in my mouth.
   Being unable to taste sometimes works to my advantage when I am made to drink various healthy and vile tasting concoctions that my mum thinks up.
   
2. Okay I do breathe through my mouth like Brainy from Hey Arnold. But not always. Sometimes my sinusitis is merciful enough to keep one of my nostrils free. They usually take sides at being blocked.
3. When I fall sick, my nose and everything that it packs in feels like it weighs a kilo. It also does a good job at imitating a trumpet when it is blown. 
4. I always get asked,'do you have a cold?'
5. When I start blowing my nose it goes on for many eternities.
6. My nose loves when I go jogging. It continuously empties all it's contents the minute I start. If you ever see my jogging you will also see me having trouble managing to pant, inhale my nose goo, dab my nose and blow it all at once.
7. In the very, very rare times that both my nostrils have been goo-free, which only lasts a few precious seconds, it feels vaguely uncomfortable to breathe through both my nostrils.
8. Phlegm is always trying to be my best friend.
9. I can almost feel my Sinusitis chuckling to itself when there is any conversation about smells. It has a terrible sense of humour.
10. Although it is not terribly noisy, breathing through my mouth (I invariably favour my mouth to breathe), won't help me fare very well in situations where there is a dangerous axe murderer looking for me in a quiet room while I hide and pretend to be nonexistent.

There! Now when someone tells you they have a chronically blocked nose you can give them a sympathetic pat and maybe even a lollipop(this will win you extra points). This means my list just upped your EQ! It failed at being purposeless.