Fruit flies form misguided ideas somewhere inside their tiny beings. Once fully formed, they spend their entire lives believing these ideas and putting them into action.
There is one misguided idea that every fruit fly firmly believes in: It can be your best friend.
Case in point: fruit flies collectively believe that I am in need of a friend who will lazily hover around my face all day. They have an uncanny knack to appear at my elbow, wherever I may be and particularly like to believe they make good study companions.
This last belief is terribly misguided. While I try to make sense of the variously interesting and obscure and dull textbooks prescribed for students of Computer Science, a fruit fly will sense a need for its support and be at my side at once, vaguely flying near my eye. An impatient wave in their direction will only result in renewed efforts at being helpful. This would be nice if their efforts included:
a) Perching on my ear and talking in a tiny voice that only bordered on squeakiness about brandishing swords and doing somersaults in the air while keeping on a floppy hat.
b) Not vaguely flying near my eyes.
There is one misguided idea that every fruit fly firmly believes in: It can be your best friend.
Case in point: fruit flies collectively believe that I am in need of a friend who will lazily hover around my face all day. They have an uncanny knack to appear at my elbow, wherever I may be and particularly like to believe they make good study companions.
This last belief is terribly misguided. While I try to make sense of the variously interesting and obscure and dull textbooks prescribed for students of Computer Science, a fruit fly will sense a need for its support and be at my side at once, vaguely flying near my eye. An impatient wave in their direction will only result in renewed efforts at being helpful. This would be nice if their efforts included:
a) Perching on my ear and talking in a tiny voice that only bordered on squeakiness about brandishing swords and doing somersaults in the air while keeping on a floppy hat.
b) Not vaguely flying near my eyes.
To be your best friend, a fruit fly must also hover uncertainly around your face while you say anything. I think they like to believe that they are agreeing wholeheartedly(read:vaguely) with anything you say. What this really does is make me forget my line of thought and focus all my attention on swatting the chap away.
That said, I don’t think I could be a Fruit Fly Swatter*. It just wouldn’t be satisfying when they’re so vague about being frustrating.
That said, I don’t think I could be a Fruit Fly Swatter*. It just wouldn’t be satisfying when they’re so vague about being frustrating.
*It is little known that I used to be a notorious Mosquito Swatter who ruthlessly slayed mosquitoes. One Bob the mosquito was my favourite victim.
No comments:
Post a Comment